What an Ohio Thunderstorm (or Tornado) Can Teach Us About Riding Out Anxiety
It’s been an absolutely wild week of storms in Ohio; from an actual tornado, a car flipping over on the freeway, downed power lines and power outages to flooded streets, fallen trees, and side-ways rain. There has been a constant humidity and often a rumble of thunder in the distance. Despite my usual love of thunderstorms- it’s been a lot. But after each little round of storms the sun has been popping back up again and I’ve seen our community come together for clean up.
I think of this pattern a lot in my work, becaus it so closely mirrors what the pattern of anxiety can feel like.
The build up. Sometimes it’s sudden- with no warning and other times it’s constantly churning underneath; you know it’s coming, it’s just a matter of when. In ourselves it can feel like a slight “something is off feeling”, a tight chest, an increase in snappy responses. For children it can be a change in appetite, a refusal to go to school or engage in activity- or also that increase in snappy responses! Either way, we sometimes write these signs off because nothing “big” has happened yet.
Then the storm hits. Then it happens and it’s loud (even if just internally). Thoughts racing, heart pounding, tears, a full shutdown or meltdown depending on the person. In the middle of it all it can feel scary, like it’s not going to end and you’re unsure of what to do or how to stop it. Like this is the new weather forever.
It passes. But an anxiety storm will end, every time. Just like an Ohio storm, it can be dramatic, but even in a week like this one- it has to end. Our nervous systems work the same way. The spike is real and intense but it’s also biologically only temporary. We can’t sustain at that level forever.
The Aftermath. Sometimes there is destruction in the wake; hurt feelings, a thrown object or a tear stained face. Sometimes you may look around and never realize it had just been storming. When you get to the other side there is such relief and almost clarity about it. Not because the anxiety storm itself was good, but because it reminds you the sky can clear, you can come back to safety. That is always worth remembering the next time you are in the midst of a storm, whether it’s your own or your kids. You know you’ve been through this before and just like these Ohio storms- it passes.
A few things that help while you're waiting out the “storm”.
Naming it out loud. -"This is a wave, it's going to peak and then it's going to come back down". This works wonders by labeling it and reassuring it’s not forever, especially for kids.
Slow, Deep Breaths. - Breathe in and count to 4, then out and count to 4. This helps stop the fight or flight response that is anxiety. It sends oxygen to the brain, slows your heart-rate and the storm.
Don’t fight it. - Once you are this deep in- it’s happening you can’t fight it. Trying to rationalize, deny it or give consequences will only make it feel longer. Riding it out with these strategies helps get you or your loved one to the other side.
None of this makes the anxiety storm fun. But it might make it a little less scary to know that the sky always, always clears.
If storms — the emotional kind or the actual kind, have been rolling through your house more than usual lately, I'd love to help you and your family find some calmer ground. Reach out here.
