Helping Anxiety in Kids
If you are starting to notice the signs and symptoms of anxiety in your child you might be getting overwhelmed. You’re wondering- how can I help? What can I do? I’ve spent over 11 years now supporting parents and their children in real time in schools. Here are a few strategies I share to all of the families I work with.
1. Name it, don't dismiss it. "I can see this feels really big right now" does more than "it’s not that big of a deal." Kids need to feel understood before they can calm down. Just like we as adults don’t like to be told to “calm down” or that our concerns are not important, kids don’t like it either. A pro tip: We don’t have to understand the why to understand the emotion. You can relate to the emotion of fear, even if you can’t fathom how math class is scary.
2. No over-accommodating. It's tempting to let a child skip the thing that scares them. We hate seeing our babies scared and uncomfortable. But avoiding it almost always makes anxiety bigger over time, not smaller. It’s going to get harder and harder to do the thing when it becomes easier and more comfortable not to. The goal isn't to force a child through overwhelming situations, but to help them take small, manageable steps toward the thing they're avoiding.
3. Build predictability. Most children do better with a routine, but anxious kids especially do better. Knowing what's coming next reduces the mental load of constantly bracing for the unknown. Keep morning routines simple and calming, communicate changes and schedules as much as you can.
4. Model real life, not robot parenting. You don't have to be unshakeable. Naming your own feelings and narrating your own coping ("I'm feeling a little stressed about this meeting, so I'm going to take a few deep breaths") teaches kids that anxiety is not only manageable but normal.
5. Know when it's more than you can handle alone. If anxiety is interfering with school, friendships, sleep, or daily functioning for more than a few weeks, that's a sign it's time to bring in extra support — not a sign you've failed as a parent.
When to consider therapy
A good rule of thumb: if your child's worry is bigger than the situation calls for, and it's not improving with the strategies above after a few weeks, therapy can help. This is especially true for school-related anxiety and school avoidance, which tend to snowball the longer they go unaddressed — the longer a child avoids school, the harder it becomes to return.
Support for Ohio families
I work with children, teens, and their families across Ohio through telehealth, with a particular focus on school anxiety and school avoidance — I'm based in the Grove City/Orient area and regularly work with families throughout greater Columbus and beyond. Because sessions are virtual, location isn't a barrier to getting support; what matters is that we're both in Ohio during our sessions together.
If you're not sure whether what you're seeing is "normal kid worry" or something that needs more support, that's a great first conversation to have — you don't need to have it all figured out before reaching out.
