How to Choose the Right Therapist
Starting therapy is a big step, and picking the right person to walk through it with you can feel overwhelming. Between credentials, insurance panels, specialties, and a hundred profile photos on Psychology Today, it's easy to throw in the towel before you even book a consultation.
Here's what actually matters when you're choosing a therapist, and what to pay attention to once you're in the room (or on the screen) with them.
The Concrete Stuff
Licensure. Look for letters like LISW-S, LPC, LMFT, PhD, PsyD after a name. Each represents different training, but the more important question is whether the person is licensed to practice in your state. If you're looking for someone for your child, ask specifically about their experience with kids or teens. While anyone with the licensure can work with children, it’s best to find someone with experience and a desire to work with them.
Specialty. A therapist who lists "anxiety" as one of fifteen areas they treat is different from one whose whole practice is built around it. If your child is dealing with school avoidance, for example, you'll likely get further faster with someone who works in that space regularly rather than with someone trying to cover everything.
Approach. CBT, MI, DBT etc. While it seems our profession sure loves acronyms, it is important to know which one your therapist prefers. Even if you have no idea what any of them mean (which is totally okay), a good therapist will be able to explain what their modality is and why, without the alphabet jargon.
Logistics. Insurance or private pay, telehealth or in-person, and actual availability all matter more than you may expect. A perfect-on-paper therapist who can't see you for eight weeks isn't the right fit for a family in crisis right now.
The Part You Have to Feel
Research consistently shows that the relationship between client and therapist, often called the therapeutic alliance or rapport, predicts outcomes more than any specific modality or licensure type does. Rapport accounts for 15% of the therapy outcomes vs just 0-10% for the modality type (CBT v EMDR etc).
That's part of why many therapists (myself included) offer a brief consult call before the first real session. It’s a way for you and your potential therapist to determine if it feels right. If the vibes are off, trust your gut.
A few signs of good fit:
It feels like a safe place. You should feel like you can be open honest without being judged.
They explain things in a way that makes sense to you.
You leave sessions feeling like you were heard and validated.
Progress, or relief, starts to feel more attainable.
Where I May Be Different
Much to the dismay of the therapy myths and probably my Grad school professors- I believe self-disclosure is necessary! While therapists were once thought to be firmly neutral and somewhat closed off from discussing their own lives- times are changing. I want my clients to feel comfortable asking me things too! For example; what are my favorite coping skills? Do I have pets? Play video games? What did I do over the weekend? We are in this together and who I am as Bree should not feel like a mystery.
If It Feels Off
Trust your instincts. If after a session or two it doesn’t feel right, that’s okay! It’s not a sign that therapy doesn’t work for you. It more likely means the fit was off. If you find yourself thinking that is the case, let your therapist know. Most would rather you find the right match (including myself), even if it isn’t them.
Not Sure Where to Start?
If you're navigating school-related anxiety or avoidance with your child, or you're an adult looking to work through anxiety or negative thought patterns, I'd be glad to talk it through on a free consult call to see if we're a good fit. And if we aren’t, that’s okay! I am always happy to recommend someone who might be. Feeling better matters the most!
